I really want to talk about this huge thing that I’m going through right now in my life - both for the catharsis and the reflection but also to ask my friends (both on tumblr and irl) for their advice, because I’m in a situation where I cannot presently see a course of action that feels right to me. But I can’t talk about it here because it involves several people who follow me on tumblr and it would be obvious to all involved who it was about, even if I redacted names.
On the one hand, it isn’t guaranteed they’d be mad at me for what they would call “taking it public”, but they prooooobably would be. More likely they’d be mad because I would not paint pretty portraits of a couple of these people. On the other hand, I’m not sure I fucking care because they’ve been treating me like shit.
I once read a post on tumblr that said I own everything that’s ever happened to me and I’m allowed to write about it and if people wanted to be portrayed more warmly then they would have behaved better.
I’m just really fucking hurt and confused and I feel betrayed on some level, even though it feels overly dramatic to say so? I don’t know what the fuck to do about this and I’m not the one who even did anything wrong so it shouldn’t be my responsibility to even decide what to do about it, but apparently nothing is going to happen and we’re all just going to continue on as if nothing ever happened and it’s all fine and we’re all still chums and… I just can’t go on pretending like everything’s okay when it’s NOT. It’s not okay. I’m not okay with this. I’m not okay with what happened and I don’t know what to do about it and it’s kind of eating me up inside. Somebody please offer me wisdom and counsel.
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