Me: Is there any way I could be married to Noomi Rapace, Keira Knightley and Rinko Kikuchi all at the same time?
Selan: I don't think that's legal.
Me: Hm... We could move to Utah?
Selan: You'd have to be a dude.
Me: I'm sure I could buy a penis online. I mean it wouldn't be MY penis- oh wait, yes it would be because I bought it and it's mine.
Selan: Oh, just tell them you're a dude. I'm sure they won't check.
Me: Tell that to that one pope.
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